治疗师真正想让你知道的15件事 15 Things Therapists Actually Want You To Know

Don't worry, they won't Google you or say hi to you at the bar.
别担心，他们不会谷歌你或在酒吧和你打招呼。

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by Casey Gueren 作者：凯西·盖伦

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Therapy can be mysterious and intimidating, especially if you don't know what to expect. So BuzzFeed Health spoke with three psychologists who all have extensive experience with psychotherapy: Stephanie Smith, Ph.D., clinical psychologist in Colorado; Ryan Howes, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and professor at Fuller Graduate School of Psychology; and Lynn Bufka, Ph.D., associate executive director of Practice Research and Policy at the American Psychological Association. Here's what they wish people knew about therapy:
治疗可能是神秘和令人生畏的，特别是如果你不知道会发生什么。因此，BuzzFeed Health采访了三位在心理治疗方面拥有丰富经验的心理学家：科罗拉多州临床心理学家斯蒂芬妮·史密斯博士;瑞安·豪斯博士，临床心理学家，富勒心理学研究生院教授;以及美国心理学会实践研究与政策副执行主任林恩·布夫卡博士。以下是他们希望人们了解的治疗：

1. It's not really a therapist's job to give you advice.

1.给你建议并不是治疗师的工作。

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They're not here to tell you if you should call off your marriage or quit your job. "The real job of therapy is to get to know yourself better and change the way you're thinking, the way you're behaving, or the way you're understanding the world," says Smith. "The process of therapy is not to give good give advice."
他们不是来告诉你是应该取消婚姻还是辞职。“治疗的真正工作是更好地了解自己，改变你的思维方式，你的行为方式，或者你理解世界的方式，”史密斯说。“治疗的过程不是给好的建议。

Sure, they might tell you about strategies to cope with a mental illness like depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder, but when it comes to your personal life decisions, they're more of a facilitator. "Do you really want to come to therapy to give your power away to someone else or do you want to learn to have that power on your own?" says Howes.
当然，他们可能会告诉你应对抑郁症、焦虑症或双相情感障碍等精神疾病的策略，但当涉及到你的个人生活决定时，他们更像是一个促进者。“你真的想接受治疗，把你的权力交给别人，还是想学会自己拥有这种力量？”豪斯说。

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2. They probably see a therapist, too.

2.他们可能也会去看治疗师。

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"I would never trust a therapist who hadn't been to therapy," says Howes. And according to these experts, most psychologists do see their own therapists — maybe not all the time, but at least at some point in their careers. Most graduate psychology programs even require that candidates participate in therapy, says Smith.
“我永远不会相信一个没有接受过治疗的治疗师，”豪斯说。根据这些专家的说法，大多数心理学家确实会看自己的治疗师——也许不是一直如此，但至少在他们职业生涯的某个阶段。史密斯说，大多数研究生心理学课程甚至要求候选人参与治疗。

3. Most therapists don't prescribe medication.

3. 大多数治疗师不开药。

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That's typically the job of a psychiatrist or a primary care provider — not a psychologist or social worker, says Bufka. However, your therapist can coordinate with another provider to help you start or end a medication, if that's something you're interested in.
Bufka说，这通常是精神科医生或初级保健提供者的工作 - 而不是心理学家或社会工作者。但是，如果您感兴趣，您的治疗师可以与其他提供者协调以帮助您开始或结束药物。

4. You don't have to be diagnosed with a mental illness to go to therapy.

4.您不必被诊断出患有精神疾病即可接受治疗。

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One common misconception: "That you have to be 'crazy' to go to therapy," says Howes. "There are a lot of reasons why people go to therapy that have nothing to do with disorders. And when people do go because they have a disorder, that's nothing to be ashamed of. You're going to get help and speak to an expert just like you would seeking help for any other medical condition."
一个常见的误解是：“你必须'疯狂'才能接受治疗，”豪斯说。人们接受与疾病无关的治疗的原因有很多。当人们因为患有疾病而离开时，这没什么可羞耻的。你会得到帮助，并与专家交谈，就像你为任何其他医疗状况寻求帮助一样。

It's usually this in between area — when you're struggling but not completely debilitated — that people hesitate to go to therapy because they feel like they don't need it. "But if you're feeling stuck or overwhelmed or not able to function as you'd like to, that's a sign you do need to talk to somebody," says Bufka.
通常，在这两个区域之间 - 当你挣扎但还没有完全虚弱时 - 人们犹豫是否要去接受治疗，因为他们觉得自己不需要它。“但是，如果你感到卡住或不知所措，或者无法按照自己的意愿运作，这表明你确实需要与某人交谈，”Bufka说。

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5. Your therapist isn't talking about you with their friends at the bar.

5.你的治疗师不会在酒吧和他们的朋友谈论你。

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"Rule number one is confidentiality," says Howes. "I would quickly lose my license if I talked about my clients with my friends or family." However, they may discuss certain cases or broader themes with a small group of trusted colleagues. "We have groups that meet every other week or monthly to discuss difficult cases and get feedback from peers," says Smith. "We talk about cases, but it's a stripped-down version with no identifying information."
“第一条规则是保密，”豪斯说。“如果我与朋友或家人谈论我的客户，我很快就会失去执照。但是，他们可能会与一小群值得信赖的同事讨论某些案例或更广泛的主题。“我们有小组每隔一周或每月开会讨论困难的案例，并从同行那里获得反馈，”史密斯说。“我们谈论的是案例，但它是一个精简版本，没有识别信息。

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6. And they probably aren't Googling you.

6.他们可能不会在谷歌上搜索你。

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"My understanding is that it is an overstepping of bounds and almost a breach of confidentiality in some ways to Google a client without their permission," says Smith.
“我的理解是，未经客户许可，谷歌客户在某种程度上是一种越界行为，几乎违反了保密性，”史密斯说。

Plus, they'd rather talk about things as you bring them up, not force you to explain That Picture they saw on Facebook over the weekend. "I don't Google my clients because I'm of the philosophy that I want everything to happen in the room," says Howes.
另外，他们宁愿在你提起事情时谈论事情，而不是强迫你解释他们周末在Facebook上看到的那张照片。“我不谷歌我的客户，因为我的理念是我希望一切都发生在房间里，”豪斯说。

7. Your therapist probably won't acknowledge you in public unless you do first.

7.除非你先承认，否则你的治疗师可能不会在公共场合承认你。

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Don't worry about running into them at a restaurant and hearing "Hey, glad to see you out and about!" while you're on a date. The general consensus is that therapists won't acknowledge you in public unless the client initiates it, and even then, they won't acknowledge that they are your therapist unless you do first, says Bufka.
不要担心在餐厅遇到他们，并在约会时听到“嘿，很高兴看到你出去走走！”。普遍的共识是，除非客户主动，否则治疗师不会在公共场合承认你，即便如此，他们也不会承认他们是你的治疗师，除非你先这样做，Bufka说。

So feel free to say hi and introduce them as your therapist/yoga teacher/neighbor, or ignore them entirely. It's your call, and it's something you can talk to them about ahead of time if you're worried about it.
因此，请随时打招呼，并将他们介绍为您的治疗师/瑜伽老师/邻居，或者完全忽略他们。这是你的电话，如果你担心，你可以提前和他们谈谈。

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8. Just going to therapy won't necessarily help — you have to participate.

8.只是去治疗不一定有帮助——你必须参与。

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Therapy isn't like going to your primary care doctor for a sinus infection and leaving with antibiotics. It takes collaboration — not just passively sitting back and waiting for results. "It's pretty disappointing for clients when they think that's the way it works," says Howes. "They want the therapist to ask them a bunch of questions and it's like a treasure hunt."
治疗不像去看你的初级保健医生治疗鼻窦感染，然后带着抗生素离开。这需要协作，而不仅仅是被动地坐下来等待结果。“当客户认为这就是它的工作方式时，他们会非常失望，”豪斯说。“他们希望治疗师问他们一堆问题，这就像寻宝一样。

But if a client is prepared and willing to talk about what brought them in and what they'd like to work on, it can make the whole process more collaborative and efficient.
但是，如果客户准备好并愿意谈论是什么让他们进来以及他们想做什么，它可以使整个过程更加协作和高效。

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9. Therapy doesn't have to be a long-term commitment.

9. 治疗不一定是长期的承诺。

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"Sometimes I think people hesitate to embark on therapy because they feel like 'If I go once I'm going to be sucked in for 10 years, three times a week,' and it feels like this huge decision," says Smith. But the length and frequency of therapy is very individual. It can be a one-time deal, a few months of sessions, or longer depending on what you're going through and what you're looking to accomplish.
“有时我认为人们在开始治疗时犹豫不决，因为他们觉得'如果我去一次，我会被吸进去10年，每周三次'，感觉就像这个巨大的决定，”史密斯说。但治疗的长度和频率是非常个性化的。它可以是一次易、几个月的会议或更长时间，具体取决于您正在经历的事情和您希望完成的目标。

It's perfectly reasonable to ask questions about a therapist's approach in the first session or two, says Bufka. Things like: What would treatment look like? How long are we going to be working together? How will I know when we're finished?
在第一两次会议中询问有关治疗师方法的问题是完全合理的，Bufka说。比如：治疗会是什么样子？我们要合作多久？我怎么知道我们什么时候完成？

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10. The right "fit" is the most important factor when it comes to finding a therapist.

10. 在寻找治疗师时，正确的“适合”是最重要的因素。

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"You could be seeing the best, most qualified therapist in the whole world, but if the fit isn't good, its not going to be as effective," says Smith. "What research tells us is that of all the different variables in therapy — types of treatment, education of the provider, length of treatment, all that stuff — one of the biggest factors in therapy success is fit."
“你可能会看到全世界最好、最合格的治疗师，但如果不适合，它就不会那么有效，”史密斯说。“研究告诉我们的是，在治疗中的所有不同变量中 - 治疗类型，提供者的教育，治疗时间，所有这些东西 - 治疗成功的最大因素之一是适合。

What does that look like? Feeling heard, understood, and respected. "The experience of therapy itself isn't always going to be fun or enjoyable," says Bufka. "But in the context of that, you should feel safe, accepted, and heard, and at times challenged."
这是什么样子的？感觉被倾听、理解和尊重。“治疗本身的体验并不总是有趣或愉快的，”Bufka说。“但在这种情况下，你应该感到安全，被接受，被倾听，有时也会受到挑战。

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11. And stopping therapy doesn't mean you can never go back.

11.停止治疗并不意味着你永远回不去了。

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"As a therapist, what I'm hoping is that by the end they feel like they've improved their functioning, whether in their relationships or their job or as a student," says Bufka. "That they're feeling like they're contributing to whatever is of value of them and not distressed by the symptoms they were experiencing."
“作为一名治疗师，我希望到最后，他们觉得自己的功能得到了改善，无论是在人际关系、工作还是学生时代，”Bufka说。“他们觉得自己正在为他们的任何有价值的事情做出贡献，而不是因为他们所经历的症状而感到痛苦。

Of course, life happens and things change, and just because you felt better for years doesn't mean you won't necessarily need help again in the future. "It doesn't mean that you'll never need a booster session, just like you see a primary care provider," says Bufka.
当然，生活会发生，事情也会发生变化，仅仅因为您多年来感觉好转并不意味着您将来不一定需要帮助。“这并不意味着你永远不需要加强治疗，就像你看到初级保健提供者一样，”Bufka说。

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12. If you're worried that something might be inappropriate — like hugging them or asking about their personal life — just talk about it.

12.如果你担心某些事情可能不合适——比如拥抱他们或询问他们的个人生活——就谈谈它。

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Not every therapist will be open to hugging their clients, but if you really feel compelled to, don't be embarrassed to bring it up. "The client should feel free to say anything or ask anything," says Howes. "Ask it if it's on your mind and then let the therapist decide whether or not they're going to answer that. Try not to filter yourself or censor yourself."
不是每个治疗师都会愿意拥抱他们的客户，但如果你真的觉得有必要，不要不好意思提起它。“客户应该随意说什么或问什么，”豪斯说。“问问它是否在你的脑海中，然后让治疗师决定是否要回答这个问题。尽量不要过滤自己或审查自己。

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13. They don't have all the answers.

13.他们没有所有的答案。

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"Sometimes people think therapists have a special ability to see inside you but we really don't," says Bufka. "We have a particular training and understanding of how humans are, how humans behave, how emotions work, and we're able to use that to understand the specific situation someone is in. We don't have these magical skills that we're instantly going to read into you — it's a process."
“有时人们认为治疗师有一种特殊的能力来观察你的内心，但我们真的没有，”Bufka说。“我们对人类如何，人类如何行为，情绪如何运作有着特殊的培训和理解，我们能够用它来理解某人所处的具体情况。我们没有这些神奇的技能，我们会立即读到你身上——这是一个过程。

14. Being a therapist can be hard work.

14. 成为一名治疗师可能是一项艰苦的工作。

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Between juggling several clients every day and helping patients through particularly traumatic events, it can be an incredibly daunting profession. "Obviously it can be hard to hear difficult stories hour after hour, day after day and then still have enough energy for your own family at night," says Smith. "That can be a challenge, but it's certainly manageable."
在每天与几个客户打交道和帮助患者度过特别创伤性的事件之间，这可能是一个令人难以置信的令人生畏的职业。“显然，很难听到一小时又一小时，日复一日的故事，然后在晚上仍然有足够的精力为自己的家人，”史密斯说。“这可能是一个挑战，但肯定是可以控制的。

"We're professional secret keepers," says Howes. "That takes a toll after a while. It's really important for us to have our own confidants and our own people we can talk to about things."
“我们是专业的秘密守护者，”豪斯说。“过了一会儿，这需要付出代价。对我们来说，拥有自己的知己和我们可以谈论事情的人真的很重要。

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15. But chances are, they also find what they do incredibly rewarding.

15. 但很有可能，他们也发现他们所做的事情非常有益。

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尼克国际儿童频道 / Via giphy.com

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"When therapy works, and it does, you're going to walk out of there with a new understanding and new ways of doing things. You own it. It's yours. It goes with you for the rest of your life," says Bufka.
“当治疗奏效时，你会带着新的理解和新的做事方式走出去。你拥有它。这是你的。它会伴随你的余生，“Bufka说。

"I just love people," says Smith. "I love to get to know people, and it's really as simple as that. I find people endlessly interesting."
“我只是爱人，”史密斯说。“我喜欢认识人，就这么简单。我发现人们无穷无尽的有趣。

"Whenever I'm able to see someone's growth process taking place, I'm delighted," says Howes. "And I spend much more time laughing than I ever thought I would."
“每当我能够看到某人的成长过程发生时，我都会很高兴，”豪斯说。“而且我花在笑上的时间比我想象的要多得多。

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Always consult with your doctor about your personal health and wellness. BuzzFeed posts are for informational purposes only and are no substitute for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice.
始终咨询您的医生有关您的个人健康状况。BuzzFeed 帖子仅供参考，不能替代医疗诊断、治疗或专业医疗建议。

第三大脑